On a cold and rainy night during the era when traveling salesmen still pedaled goods door to door, Gary, a young English wallpaper representative breaks down on an Irish county road.
Luckily, there is a farmhouse not far from the road. As he is an Englishman in Ireland, he cautiously makes his way to the house and knocks on the door. The door flies open to reveal the biggest Irishman farmer Sean had ever seen .
"What can I be doing for yer.", enquiries the farmer in a loud intimidating voice .
"My car has broken down and I was wondering if I could use your phone for assistance from the next town", replies the wide eyed Gary.
"Ah...", says the farmer, "...that would be Paddy the mechanic, but you will not get any assistance from him tonight, he'll be well pissed down the pub by now. Never mind that for now, come in and take off your wet coat".
Being an Englishman in Ireland, Gary reluctantly complies as by this time he is freezing.
"You are most kind sir, sorry to be such a bother.", stutters Gary. "Bother?", exclaims the farmer, "Nonsense, it's just good old Irish hospitality. In fact, the missus has just finished preparing supper and a hot meal will warm you right up."
Gary sees that the farmer is not going to take no for an answer and graciously agrees. He is ushered to the dining room where he is introduced to the farmer's wife and daughter. Megan, the farmer's daughter is gorgeous, and Gary can hardly take his eyes off her ample bussom. They all sit down to one of the most wholesome meals Gary has ever had.
Gary thanks the farmer and his wife profusely to which the farmer replied, "It's a pleasure my boy, just good old Irish hospitality. Now come to the drawing room for a night cap while the missus and Megan prepare the spare room. In the morning we will see to your car".
By this time, Gary sees that it is pointless protecting and again thanks the farmer for his hospitality, to which the line 'good old Irish hospitality ' is repeated. After a good few whiskeys, a very tipsy Gary retires to bed and falls asleep with pleasant thoughts of a hearty meal, good whiskey, and of course Megan's ample bussom on his mind.
Later that night, Gary is awoken by a persistent gentle tapping on the bedroom door. Thinking that the farmer has come to give him information about his car , Gary says "Please come in." The door opens and standing before him is Megan. She does not beat about the bush, and assertively informs him that she has been back from a university for three weeks, is as horny as hell due to the lack of local young male company, and is keen on a bit of leg over if he is interested.
Gary enthusiastically affirms that he is indeed very interested and they passionately embrace. Unfortunately, the bed in the spare room is old and noisy which alarms Megan who suggests they complete the act on the floor. They are going for it like rabbits, when suddenly the bedroom door flies open. Standing there, is a very angry farmer.
"What the blazers is going on here!" he booms.
"But father...", exclaims Megan, "...its just good old Irish hospitality".
"Good old Irish hospitality be damned!", roars the farmer, "Arch your back girl, and get his balls off the cold stone floor!"
Images: ©Storyteller/ร Firestone
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