Off to the West, we go!

It's hard to believe it's been over a year since our last Quick Fix; anyway, here's what we changed in Version 3.0.1. Removed bloated and unnecessary code Changed co…

A dude that likes mushrooms is a fun-gi.

A friend is like a book: you don't need to read all of them, just pick the best ones.

A perfect name to call a pig that always talks too much is Hogwash.

It's Okay to be Green.

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Because everybody that can run, jump, and swim is already in the U.S.

Still complaining? Get off your high horse!

As soon as the bees were finished making their hive, they threw a big house-swarming party.

What's a monkey's favorite game? Hangman!

Conger agreed to kill a stranger he had never seen. But he would make no mistakes because he had the stranger's skull under his arm.

Hello, Suicidal Hotline how can I help you?

Want to hear a dry joke? A desert.

Sweet 'n Juicy!

A little whimsy, now and then, makes for good balance. Theoretically, you could find this type of humor anywhere. But only a topflight science-fictionist, we thought, could hav…

Everything in the desert wants to kill you!

What's faster than a Black kid running down the street with your TV? His brother with your Xbox.

Two friends, Bob and Frank are lost in the jungle when they run into a group of bloodthirsty cannibals.

So 'merican, you can taste it!

If I Pinch You, Does Your Twin Feel It?

My mother taught me many things, here are the few.

You have the right to bear arms.

Stark terror ruled the Inner-Flight ship on that last Mars-Terra run. For the black-clad Leiters were on the prowl ... and the grim red planet was not far behind.   By Phil…

Winter is Coming...

What do they eat for breakfast in Tokyo?  Japancakes!

It's Game Over Man, Game over!

It was Born from Development Hell!

Your family tree is good, but you are the sap.

On a cold and rainy night during the era when traveling salesmen still pedaled goods door to door, Gary, a young English wallpaper representative breaks down on an Irish coun…

I'm no weatherman, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.

There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it.

You shouldn't make jokes about people in wheelchairs, they can't even stand up for themselves.

A man buys a secondhand car. It's an old, run-down Datsun. The man buys the car, but as he's driving home it breaks down. When he lifts the hood, he notices that there'…

One day, the Aliens come to visit Earth. They come in peace and surprisingly, they speak English for some reason.

What's invisible and smells like a carrot? A bunny toot!

I would have been your daddy but the dog beat me over the fence.

Before I met you, I thought God didn't make mistakes, but I guess I was wrong.

A Fijian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe, when a New Zealand tourist, chewing gum, sat next to him...

The slovenly wub might well have said: Many men talk like philosophers and live like fools.

The legend about the dogwood tree is quite widely known in the Cumberlands, as elsewhere in the State of Virginia.

(All spoken parts are to be told in a heavy French accent)

It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.

They say St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I wonder if he could do that for Congress.

Some age like wine, some like bread.

There is something on the windshield. Sometimes when flying very low, we get small children stuck on our airplane windshield.

A handsome young man and a beautiful girl met, and it was love at first sight. They immediately got married and went on their honeymoon. On their wedding night, the bride went int…

We're rolling over our graves!

...can be expensive.

A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.