Main highway!
Off the beaten path...

πŸš„ A Virginian Man Who Drove Trains for a Living.

Nothing can stop a train!

   A Virginian man named James loved his job as a train driver for the Virginia Railway Express for decades. Driving a train has been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. But unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash at the Spotsylvania train station. 

He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to county court over this incident. He was found guilty and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine.

Well, at the time, there was an old Virginian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, James managed to get his old job back driving the train for the VRE. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people near Alexandria. 

They went to the circuit court, and the trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed.




Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back...for some reason. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people, this time at Quantico near the FBI Academy. And so, he went to Virginia's supreme court and once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas.

"You know what? No!" said the executioner. 

"I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now." Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped into the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.

The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."




Author: Γ† Firestone

Image: Wikipedia/WTOP

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