Dave wanted to send a letter to his girlfriend, so, he goes to the nearby market to buy an envelope. Just as he is about to enter the store, a man rushes out the market, furious, yelling and swearing...
Dave didn't want to get in the man's way and just lets him pass. He enters the store and finds the cashier, a young lady, crying.
"Is everything alright? Did that man hurt you?", Dave asked.
"No no, everything is alright.", she says as she wipes her tears. "How can I help you?"
"I need an envelope", Dave said.
"Alright. What size do you need? Small, medium, large?", she asked.
"Medium is fine", Dave answered.
"What color do you want it to be? Black, white, yellow, green...", she asked.
"The regular, white one", Dave replied.
"What about its shape? Do you want it to be like a triangle, square, rectangle."
"The regular white rectangular shaped medium sized envelope, please!", said Dave who was getting annoyed.
The cashier goes to the back of the store, brings the envelope and hands it to Dave.
"Do you need stamps maybe?", the cashier asks.
"Ah I completely forgot. Yes, I need some stamps as well.", said Dave who wanted to leave the store and send his letter as soon as possible.
"What would you like to have on your stamp? A picture of nature, some city, space, animal..."
"Animal. Please, can we hurry it up a bit?", said Dave with his frustration growing.
"Of course, sir, we will finish your purchase really fast. Now, what kind of animal would you like it to have? A mammal, a lizard, a bird, an insect..."
"Bird, it's not really important.", said Dave.
"What kind of bird? An eagle, a falcon, a pigeon...", she asked yet again.
"Eagle!", Dave replied angrily.
"What kind of eagle? There is the bald eagle, the golden eagle, the harpy eagle.",
"Bald eagle! Please, I need to go! ", said Dave who was starting to lose it.
"Alright, alright! Just tell me what would you like the eagle to do in the picture? Fly in the blue sky, feed its young, while its hunting."
At this point, just as Dave was about to break completely and go insane, the man from the start of the story, enters the store again and slams a piece of shit on the cashier's desk and says:
" This is the type of shit I need to wipe off my ass, now can you give me that damn toilet paper!?!"
Image: Ron Leishman
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