Main highway!
Off the beaten path...

๐Ÿ˜ˆ A girl named Yu was being held captive by a tribe of goblins...


The goblins were very particular about how they did things, as they enjoyed toying with their captives. They all had a bizarre sense of humor.

“Let me go!” shouted Yu, who was suspended twenty feet in the air by ropes and pulleys. The goblins just chuckled at the fact that they knew she could never escape until another adventurer would arrive to participate in their sick games.

An hour passed, and a merchant named Richard the Wise arrived. He carried a large backpack full of supplies. When he noticed that something was wrong, he rushed to help.

“What happened to you?” called Richard. But by then it was too late. The goblins had re-emerged from the shadows, and their leader approached Richard and made an offer.

“I can release this girl if you participate in some of our games.” said the Goblin King.

“What kind of games are you talking about?” asked Richard.

“Our first offer is musical chairs.”

“Musical chairs? I have asthma, I can’t be running around in circles like that!”

“How about you just cut onions below her until she cries?”

“What the hell kind of game is that? Besides, I can’t do that either, I’m allergic.”

“You’ve got some damn gall coming in here unarmed trying to save a woman with a big sack of loot on your back. What are you even carrying?”

“Only toilet paper, sir.”

“Toilet paper? What the fuck?”

“That’s just what I sell…”

“Okay, fine, I’ve had enough of you. If you don’t want to do anything else, make up some nasty rumor about her and I’ll let you both go. Just say she steals from kids or shits in the street or something.”

“I can’t do that either, that’s going to damage her reputation in town!”

“You’re really annoying, mister!” Yu said. “If you aren’t going to release the rope or play musical chairs, at least chop some onions, defame me, give me to the goblins to seal my fate, or leave me so I can figure this out on my own.”

“I believe I can’t do that.” Rick replied. “I’m never gonna give you up. I’m never gonna let you down. I’m never gonna run around and desert you. I’m never gonna make you cry. I’m never gonna say goodbye. I’m never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.”

The goblins were pissed and looked like they were going to attack. Suddenly, Richard opened his backpack, and threw all of the toilet paper it contained at the goblins as a last-ditch attempt. But he could never save her. 

After all that time and effort, Yu just got Rick rolled.

Image: Point of View


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