Click Slowly and See...

πŸŽͺ For your Amusement

Me at 18, being typical cynical. Fresh-out of high-school kid believed in the "I've given up in humanity" bullcrap working at a summer job at an amusement park, operating rides.
Clickety-Splits!

🍁 NSFW: A Young Boy Discovers his First Swear Words on Thanksgiving Day.

 


 This joke is Not Safe for Work and may not be appropriate for all readers!



A young boy discovers his first swear words on Thanksgiving Day. After aggravating his mother, he's sent outside to play. In the yard, he overhears his neighbors fighting: "You bitch!" "You bastard!" Astounded, he runs back inside and asks his mother, "Mommy mommy! What is a bitch and bastard?"

With a blush she stammers, "Well, bitch is a fancy word for a lady and bastard is a fancy word for a gentleman. Now run upstairs and tell your sister to get ready for dinner."

He quickly runs up to his sister's room and hears strange noises coming from behind the door. He curiously puts his ear to the keyhole and hears "Yes! Put your cock in my pussy!" Astounded, he runs to his father and asks, "Daddy daddy! What is a 'cock' and 'pussy?'" In the midst of shaving, his father explains, "Well, a cock is a hat and a pussy is a coat."


"Oh!" the young boy replies. "I wish I had a nice pussy to use for Christmas!" Taken aback at his son's use of his new vocabulary, he cuts himself across the cheek. "Shit!"

"Daddy? What's 'shit?'"

"Ummmm, 'shit' is the brand of shaving cream I use. Why don't you see if your mother needs help in the kitchen?"

Confused but overjoyed to learn so much in a day, the boy runs downstairs, prepared to thrill his mother with his knowledge. "Momma!"

Surprised, she cuts herself across the hand. "FUCK!"

"Momma, what's 'fuck?'"

"Well, sweetie, 'fuck' is a special way of carving the turkey, so everyone gets a slice."

At that moment, the doorbell rings.

"That must be your grandparents. Answer the door please while I bandage this up."

The boy runs to the door, flings it open to find his grandparents on the front stoop. Without a moment to spare, he greets his guests:

"Good afternoon bitches and bastards! May I take your cocks and pussies? It's just me right now. My father is upstairs wiping shit off his face and mother is in the kitchen fucking the turkey!"

 

Then the grandfather said: "Shit, if this is going to be that kind of party, I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes!"



Image: Jacronda Mfg. Co

Leave Us External Links for Your Mother...