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πŸŽͺ For your Amusement

Me at 18, being typical cynical. Fresh-out of high-school kid believed in the "I've given up in humanity" bullcrap working at a summer job at an amusement park, operating rides.
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πŸ’ˆ Dave and the Barber



So, this guy, Dave, is in getting a haircut. He tells the barber, “I’m going on a three-week vacation to Europe.”


“No, you’re not.”


“Yes, I am.”


“No, you’re not.”


“Yes, I am.”


“No, you’re not.”


“Yes, I am.”


“You’re going to hate it. Everything is so completely different than it is here. They will hear your accent and screw you over on the exchange rate, no matter what bank you go to.”


“How do you know? Have you ever been there?”


“No, but I’ve heard.”


“Well, I’m going anyway. I’m going to spend six days in London.”


“No, you’re not.”


“Yes, I am.”


“No, you’re not.”


“Yes, I am.”


“No, you’re not.”


“Yes, I am.”


“You’re going to hate it. They drive on the wrong side of the road. The food is horrible. You can’t even get a proper breakfast.”


“How do you know? Have you ever been there?”


“No, but I’ve heard.”


“Well, I’m going anyway. Then I’m going to spend six days in Paris.”


“No, you’re not.”


“Yes, I am.”


“No, you’re not.”


“Yes, I am.”


“No, you’re not.”


“Yes, I am.”


“You’re going to hate it. They don’t like Americans. They’re all going to pretend they don’t speak English and no one’s going to help you.”


“How do you know? Have you ever been there?”


“No, but I’ve heard.”


“Well, I’m going anyway. Then I’m going to spend six days in Rome.”


“No, you’re not.”


“Yes, I am.”


“No, you’re not.”


“Yes, I am.”


“No, you’re not.”


“Yes, I am.”


“You’re going to hate it. All the scooters on the road and they don’t watch where they’re going. There’s too many hills and not enough taxis and all the roads are in horrendous condition.“


“How do you know? Have you ever been there?”


“No, but I’ve heard.”


“Well, I’m going anyway. I’ll let you know how it went when I get back.”


Three weeks later, Dave goes back to the barbershop, all smiles. He says to the barber, “I had an absolutely incredible vacation! The exchange rate at the bank was exactly what I expected it to be, no matter where I went.“


“I don’t believe you.“


“I spent six days in London, and it was amazing. I got to tour Buckingham Palace. I even had an audience with the Queen herself. The food was great, and I didn’t have to drive anywhere because I had complementary taxi service through my hotel.”


“I don’t believe you.”


“Then I spent six days in Paris, and it was wonderful. Everyone was so polite and helpful, and people would ask me if I knew this-and-such celebrity or athlete. I even got to meet with the Prime Minister of France that Sunday for lunch.”


“I don’t believe you.”


“Then I spent six days in Rome, and it was absolutely incredible. The food, oh my, was to die for. The hotel set me up on guided tours of wherever I wanted to go. They even arranged an audience with the Pope for me.”


“I don’t believe you.”


“Would you like to know what we talked about? “


“Well, yeah, of course. “


“The first thing the Pope said to me was, ‘Who gave you that awful haircut?’”




Image: Ron Leishman

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