So, a Blonde, Brunette and a Redhead are all assistants to a powerful Black-haired lady CEO....
The Black-haired CEO tells the ladies she is leaving for the day and for them to watch things and do her work while she is out. When the CEO leaves, the Redhead says, "Man, this is the third time this week she's done this to us!"
The Brunette starts to gather her things and replies: "That's it, I'm outa here!"
"Hey girls," says the brunette. "Let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
The Redhead shakes her head in agreement, but the Blonde rejects the idea. Soon enough the Brunette and Redhead leave and advise the Blonde to do the same. Eventually the Blonde leaves but just decides to go home and spend time with her husband.
The next day the Brunette and Redhead arrive early to work
"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."
Then they are greeted by the CEO storming past them and locking herself in her office, her face full of shame and embarrassment. The Blonde arrives, late and looking flustered.
The Brunette and Redhead ask the Blonde if they know what's wrong with the CEO, she replies, "Aww I knew she would be mad, all I wanted to do was surprise my husband by coming home early, and instead I end-up getting caught by my boss in my own home!"
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After my retirement at the company, I worked at for 50 years, I looked forward to some relaxation time and putting my feet up, but my wife had other ideas...
... she insisted I take her to the local shopping center every day.
Like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and out.
She's like most women - loves to browse and leaves me with endless time to fulfill.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local Shopping centre:
Dear Mrs. Harris:
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.
We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to, ban both of you from the store.
Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:
June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time; and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3.
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while, loudly humming the, 'Mission Impossible' theme.
October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, 'Madonna Look' using different sizes of funnels.
October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
October 22: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed.
"OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'"
Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?
And last, but not least:
October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
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Did I forget to mention one of our Co-CEOs of our company called his secretary (his married mistress) and told her that he wants to go on a trip with her this weekend so they can have some fun and that she can tell her husband it’s a work trip, so she agreed.
She called her husband and told him that she has a work trip, so she won’t spend this weekend with him, he understood.
Her husband called his mistress and told her that his wife is out this weekend so she should come because they will be all alone in the house, she agreed.
The husband’s mistress, who works as a babysitter, called the CEO and told him that she can’t babysit his kid this weekend because she has things to do, so he agreed.
The CEO called his secretary (his married mistress) to tell her that he can’t go because he needs to babysit his kid.
The secretary called her husband and told him the news, the husband told his mistress to cancel. The mistress called the CEO and told him that she canceled her things, and she can be with his kid the weekend.
The CEO called his secretary…
Image: © Igor Ilkov/Storyteller
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