💕 True Romance

  

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?

    A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and a gorgeous redhead is sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterward, they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible! 'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No,' she replies...

'You just caught my eye.'

Three years later

    After making love as a married couple for the first time, the young bride asks her husband for $50. As he pays her, he advises, "if you want roleplaying, we should both be in on it... ask for the money up front."

So, every time they have sex, she asks for $50 and he gladly pays. After all, it's THEIR money.

After a year, he stops at the bank to get a crisp new $100 Bill to make their anniversary special. He hands it to her as he walks in the door.

"That's sweet," she says, "but first, come out to the garage." Of course, he follows her, curious why she wants to wait. In the garage, she shows him a brand new Harley Davidson, complete with a helmet and jacket.

"Happy Anniversary, Darling!" she yells, giving him a big kiss.

"How can we afford this?" he asks, worried about payments and insurance and such.

"I set up an account with all our roleplaying money. I was even able to pay cash and save on financing. It's not top-of-the-line, but if we keep the romance alive, we can trade up...

"It's my way of thanking you for being a great customer!"

"Damn! If I knew that, I would've given you all my business!"

    The next day the man was tired after having too much to drink at the bar, he wasn't supposed to drive when under the influence but he did anyway. It was after dark, luckily he came home and when he went inside there was a lovely smell of a joint roasting.

Candles were lit, there was some chill-out music playing and a bottle of wine was on the coffee table with two glasses.

He smiled and went into the kitchen, where his wife had her back to him.

He watched her for a while, the woman of his dreams; she was wearing a short sleeveless dress, her hair tied back exposing a beautiful neck, and she hummed as she chopped vegetables.

The man realized then how much he loved her.

"Hi, babe," he said.

She screamed and dropped the knife. "Who the $%&@ are you and how did you get in?!"

Image: Zenaidy Castro