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๐ŸŽช For your Amusement

Me at 18, being typical cynical. Fresh-out of high-school kid believed in the "I've given up in humanity" bullcrap working at a summer job at an amusement park, operating rides.
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๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿป‍♀️ The Best Blonde Jokes

 


Why are blonde jokes so short?  So, men can remember them.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" 


The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" 


The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. 

The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"


The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." 


A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. 


"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. 


"Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. 


"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."


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A young blonde, out of money and down on her luck, needed some quick cash. Desperate, she decided to kidnap a child and hold it for ransom…


She went to the local playground, randomly grabbed a kid, took him behind a nearby building, and in a stern voice she told him, "You've been kidnapped, young man!"


Once the kid understood what was happening and was sitting quietly, she wrote a ransom note that said, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning at 7 o'clock, put $10,000 in a brown paper bag and leave it under the pine tree next to the slides, on the south side of the playground." She signed it "Blondie"…


She pinned the note to the kid's striped tee-shirt and then sent him home to show his parents…


The next morning, the blonde went to the playground, looked under the pine tree, and there it was, the brown paper bag. 


She looked in the bag, and the $10,000 she demanded was there, along with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?


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A Blonde called her boyfriend and said, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Blonde

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"


The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."


Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,


"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."


He then takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then.... he said with a deep sigh" ............


"Let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box"...



Image: ©Maxime Brienne "Paynt"

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