Look up here!
Don't look there! Look down here!

๐Ÿฆ˜ A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead decided to Take a Vacation to Australia.




None of them made it back alive...


The redhead hopped off the plane and headed straight for the beach.


She was eaten by a shark shortly thereafter.


The brunette was tired after her long flight, so she headed straight for her hotel to take a nap.


After her nap, she got up to head to the opera, but a spider had slipped into her shoes and when she tried to put them on, she was bitten and died.


The blonde was found drowned in her car off the coast of Florida.


She’d taken one look at flight tickets and figured it was cheaper to drive.

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One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon.

"It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself.


As the speck gets closer and closer, he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.


Suddenly, emerging from the surf, comes a drop dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.


She approaches the stunned guy and says: "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"


"Ten years," replies the stunned man.


With that she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes.


He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says: "Man, oh man! Is that good!"


"And how long has it been since you've had a sip of bourbon?" she asks him.


Trembling the castaway replies: "Ten years."


She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him.


He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says: "WOW, that's absolutely fantastic!"


At this point, she starts slowly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the man seductively, and asks: "And how long has it been since you've had some real fun?"


With tears in his eyes, the guy falls to his knees and sobs: "Oh good Lord! Don't tell me you've got a laptop?"


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A brunette and her blonde sister live in the rural Southwest US, having inherited their family ranch.

The Great Depression hit them hard, and they only have $600 left.


Fearing that their ranch would be repossessed, the brunette goes to buy a bull so they can breed their own stock. She tells her sister "I'll come and contact you when I make the purchase", and promptly departs.


The bull ends up costing exactly $599, but it's the cheapest one the stockyard has, so the brunette buys it, and goes to the nearest city kilometers away to contact her sister.


With only $1 left, the brunette is shocked to find out that the telegraph office charges $0.99 per word. Having no other way to bring the bull back except by dragging it across the harsh landscape, she commits to her decision.


"Greetings, I'd like a telegraph sent to my sister to go get our family carriage so we can haul the bull back home."


"Okay. Our cost is 99 cents a word."


"I have... 1 dollar here."


"1 dollar? That's one word, then."


"Send her the word 'comfortable'."


"Comfortable? H-how does that tell your sister that she needs to get the carriage and come over to haul the bull back to your home?"


"She's blonde, and she'll read it slowly... come-for-the-bull."




Image: Total Soirty Move

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